And missed again

A small dirty, dark grey Citroen passes down the M40. Nothing happens

Kurt watches it pass, mournfully

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At home with Kara

'Kandy, just leave them. If you respond to every single cheep they will never acheive anything in life. You are nurturing birds of prey, not mice.'

'But they sound so lonely, Kara'

'There are three of them Kandy, they can't be lonely'

'But without their mummy..?'

'Just let them cheep, they will shut up eventually.'

But they may become insecure and damaged and turn into hooligans?

'And if you go to them, they will become insecure and manipulative and turn into hooligans. Just shut up and sit down Kandy!'

<The sound of sniffling mixes with the distant sound of cheeping.>

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Khlaudia

Potassia, darling, can you find Aunty Khandy for me?

ναι, μάνα,

Sometimes, I don't understand you dharling, just do what Mummy says

εντάξει

Did you find her dharling?

πέταξε μακριά

But the Kchicks?

πέταξαν μέσα κουβέρτα

Oh

άνδρας αρπακτικό πουλί ερχομός

Is khe? Oh khow lovely dharling, let's sit and wait for Mr Khevin then. Where is Khlimt?

παίξιμο συναλλαγή

Are you sure?

ναι, μάνα,

Dho you promise me dharling?

ναι, μάνα,

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At home with Kara

Tack tack tack

'You can't stay'

'But Kara, Klaudia is unbearable, she expects me to wait on her! I am trying to feed my babies, I'm an abandoned mother!'

Tack

'Kara, I know how you feel..'

Tack

'Please, just for a night?'

Sigh.

At home with Khlaudia and Kandy

A warm and very cosy nest.

'Khan you pass me another tissue, dharling?'

'No I bloody can't Klaudia, I'm trying to feed my chicks'

'Kchicks!! Oo Oo Oo I remember when little Klimt and Potassia khad a brother..Oo Oo my life is over'

'Ok, ok here you are, have the bloody box, when is that Kevin visiting?'

'Oh dharling, I dhon't know, khe did say khe would be khere at 2 but khe may khave been khidnapped or khnocked out of the sky or...Oo oo oo'

'I tell you what, I'll just go and see if I can see him shall I?'

Kandy disappears with a large flannel blanket. The sound of muffled cheeps and then much-laboured wing beats is heard above the continual sobbing and wailing.

Which strand of pasta?

The three kites reach Spaghetti Junction, and settle near a traffic camera. Kaspar assumes the position. As soon as he is occupied Kolin and Kjell gently preen each other.

'Kafka?'

The camera moves up very slowly, Kaspar hangs on.

'Which bit? where are we going?'

Penances

'Now young disciple, you can start with the First Penance- Alignment of the Cones. The Cone Father is pleased if all his Cones are perfectly aligned. One of the Penitent's duties is to straighten the cones so that they are all in line. I would like you to start with this contraflow'

'But..'

'You have the Stick of Straightening, child. Place the end of the Stick of Straightening into the Oracle Hole at the Skywards end of the Cone. You can then maneuver the Cone until it is in the right position. It takes a little practice' 

Cone Father II

'wshp n venrt th cn fther'

'A little clearer, young disciple, SING your veneration!'

'wosp n vert th con fathr'

'We can't take the shackles off and give you a new apron until we know you belieeeeve'

Sounds of muffled swearing.

'I Worship And Venerate The Cone Father
I Worship And Venerate The Cone Father
I Worship And Venerate The Cone Father
I Worship And Venerate The Cone Father'

'Ok young disciple, onto the Penances now!'

Sounds of further muffled swearing.

We return to Penrith

The kites turn to the display board, it reads:

SPAGHETTI JUNCTION

Kaspar looks at Kolin, who looks at Kjell. Kjell shrugs, and takes off heading south. The others follow.

Near Penrith on the M6

'Yes I know I am asking again Kafka, but Kolin and Kjell say I have to'

Once again, Kaspar is hanging uncomfortably from his talons, upside down on a traffic camera.

'Well, anyway, he is a big kchick, er chick and they think he was taken by one of the cults, do you know where he could be?

Inevitably, the camera moves up and down, Kaspar falls off.